Oh yeah, life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin’ is gone
Say a
Oh yeah, life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin’ is gone
They walk on
–John Mellencamp
So, Jack and Diane–I always imagined them from my parents era of the early 60s, running around in late 50s vintage Chevys and Fords. They likely had only ONE home phone, and it was a party line, and I do not mean “par-tay…woot!” I mean it was a shared neighborhood line. I can’t even explain it fully, beyond my comprehension. (see link above) He had to actually talk to her, or through friends. They may have passed notes in school, but those were easily intercepted by teachers and other friends. The courage that poor boy must have had to muster to do such a thing. This was how I pictured these poor dating fools.
For me, growing up, we had a ‘touch-tone phone” and had more than one. (not rich, but my dad was all about convenience) When I got to my teen years, some of my friends started getting their OWN phones that was separate from their parents’ and IN their ROOMS. How I wanted the same! My parents would not concede to my own line, but I did get this discount store phone installed in my room, and later “call-waiting” was added to our line to keep the family peace. Hours were now spent on the phone with friends, and if I was lucky…a BOY would call. He might not have had the courage to talk to me in school, but he could call and hide behind the phone line. (We’ll cover my lack of this happening in another blog…but it did a few times).
Boys in the 80s-90s were able to pine after a girl at school, then go home, look her number up in the phone book, and call her. Of course, the worst that could happen would be that her dad would answer, ask who was calling (Oh no!) and when the girl was told who it was, there was some sort of awkward “I’m sorry kid, but she’s washing her hair.” Momentary humiliation, but short-lived.
Courting in a connected age
Today, this dating thing has transformed. I’ve watched my kids conduct a young ‘relationship’ on their phones. A few years ago, it was all text messages–my oldest had a little girlfriend in middle school, they did actually sit near each other at lunch a few times, but mostly it was messaging in the evenings. It went on while we were on a cruise one spring break, where he was all so faithful at age 13, and we allowed him one text exchange when we docked in Mexico. It all ended very unceremoniously when the girl dumped him via a text message, while we waited for our bags back in the U.S.
Now, my younger child, is not approached at school by boys to get her number, but to her, a good day when she gets home from school and a boy has sent a SnapChat–asking to be friends. Or she gets a private message o
n Instagram, asking for a phone number to text. They never have to actually TALK to each other, and they don’t. My daughter is still a silly young girl who cannot talk to a boy she really thinks is adorable. She can text and snapchat with the best of them, but once in school, she is as awkward as heck.
Virtual hound-dogs
A year ago, one of the boys that was texting my daughter pretty seriously (that even made me laugh!), was found to be texting a bunch of girls her age at a time. He had quite the little virtual “black book” going on between his middle school and hers. She and her friends began comparing notes about who was texting “Danny” (name changed) and they all dumped him. No one was actually ‘going out’ but it peeved ALL of them. He was a ‘virtual play-ah’.
No verbal skills required
So, this is how it goes I guess. I have no idea how this is going to play out for my younger one who starts high school in a month. It has changed a lot since her older brother started, with even less in-person communication happening. It is too bad too–the kids have no idea what to say when at school, even though they spent the better part of an evening snapping selfies and exchanging in long conversations about parents, dogs, death, grandparents. (By the way, YES, I have spoken to both of my kids and frequently discuss appropriate behavior with others on social media) All of these conversations could be batched and discussed verbally, if they weren’t so freaked out about talking to each other.
No virtual babies
So, back to Jack & Diane…growing up, they had to do a lot in person, and while times were different, (Angelina Jolie wasn’t making unmarried parents cool yet & the internet wasn’t there to demonstrate ‘things’) they had hormones too. They had to talk, meet up, hang out, at much younger ages than I’m seeing my kids. (Remember, I have one who has graduated–I’ve seen the recent movie). The one thing I know for certain is that at some point there will be conversation in person, there HAS to be, because I don’t think we’ve figured out how to have a Homecoming Dance virtually. I’m actually ok with some parts of this ‘not in real life conversation’…no one caught an STD or got pregnant on a phone call.
More to come …
I'm not them...am I? 